Sometimes, when you're in the thick of it, it can be hard to remember how well you're doing and how far you've come. Tonight, my husband and I had the honor of being on a discussion panel of trans folks and parents of trans folks following a new PBS film, Real Boy.
The film was outstanding - such a beautiful and heartbreaking portrayal of the journey of a trans boy and his mother, and friendship with a trans man. It was probably the most accurate film of this type that I have seen so I was excited to take questions afterwards.
The audience took a few minutes to open up and realize they could ask the tricky questions now. But one they did, they were fantastic. The really wanted to understand our experiences. And it was through these questions that I was able to realize 1) how far we've come in the course of a year, 2) that we're actually doing a pretty good job with a crazy difficult situation, and 3) how fortunate we have been in the love and support we've received during our family's transition. I actually found myself saying "We sort of won the lottery when it comes to being parents of a trans kid. Not only did we get a daughter, but we realized how loved and supported we are."
We didn't have to fear for the reaction of our family and friends. We didn't fear rejection from our faith community. Our doctor was beyond supportive. Our school district has a clear trans-affirming policy in place. Our child is adjusting and improving day by day. We won the lottery.