I don't know what kind of picture to use here so I thought rainbow colours would be pretty. :)
There are so many things that I want to tell you about. I don't even know how to put them in to a coherent blog, plus I'm running behind if I still want to pick up child #3 from the bus stop on time, so I'm just going to get on with it (Let's face it, though, child #3 is fully well aware that he will always be waiting for me because, well, he's child #3).
1.) Someone outright asked C if she used to be a guy. She managed to fob him off and not answer directly. She asked us, "Do you think people are starting to find out?" My husband answered, "It's high school. Nothing stays secret for long." And he's right.
Trying to stay completely stealth is a near impossibility. We've spent a good deal of time talking about how to handle being outed and how to handle direct questions without compromising her safety and/or integrity. It's never going to be easy, but at least now she has ideas on how to handle it all.
2.) We went to the big annual gala for our local equality center. What a night! My husband donated some services to the event and I went along to help. In exchange, we got to enjoy a lovely meal, hear inspiring stories and get in some of the world's best people watching! There were trans folks of literally every age and identity, gay, straight, asexual, pansexual, flamboyant, classy and wonderful people of every shape, size, color, culture, gender, etc!
Over 1,000 individuals from across the region gathered together with one common goal -- support equality in the LGBTQIA+ community. Teens from GSAs from all the area high schools were there -- sponsored by generous adults and organizations -- being themselves, wandering the halls in gaggles, struggling to walk in high heels. Elderly lesbian and gay couples in sequins or rainbow bow ties held hands and perused the silent auction. Drag queens wore their most vibrant dresses and wildest make-up. The atmosphere was electric.
This was our first time at the gala and we were blown away. We knew the LGBTQIA+ community in our little city in our red state was the biggest in the region, but to see ALL OF THEM in one place was powerful. All you haters who think trans folks shouldn't be using your bathrooms, trust me, they already are and you just don't know it!
3.) We are Episcopalian, which, generally speaking, is a fairly liberal denomination. We are liturgical (as some people say, smells and bells and pew aerobics) and most people mistake us for Catholic when they hear about our services, or see photos of our buildings and clergy. But there are some massive differences: birth control, female clergy and gay marriage, among many others. For us, the most amazing part of being in the Episcopal church has been how our family has been supported through this transition.
Yesterday, our daughter was re-baptized as her authentic self. She chose to do it as a symbolic renaming ceremony. She chose to do it to give the congregation a chance to stand with her and show her they love and support her. She chose to do it to say to them, "I see you loving and supporting me." She laid her soul bare in front of a packed church.
As the visiting Bishop blessed the water, he asked the priest (also a dear friend) and deacon (a friend, whose adult children I babysat as a teen) to place their hands in the water, too. Three priests stood there, hands in the water they would pour over my daughter's head. Three priests affirmed their willingness to stick their necks out for love and equality. Three priests lead a congregation through a commitment to support her in her whole life. And every one of those priests, acolytes, choir members and parishioners made that promise to my transgender daughter without hesitation.
Earlier in the day, a member of the parish confided in me earlier in the day that they are transgender. After learning that my daughter was going to be re-baptized at the later service, this person actually stayed for a second service to be present. This meant something to people. Not just to our child and our family. This was symbolic to allies and other trans folks. This re-baptism was a way of saying "we see you and we love you." This MEANS something.
I think that's everything all caught up! Just trying to keep our heads above water in the last few weeks of school -- pushing through to the very end. Just like all the other families out there.