Our daughter had her name changed legally today. It was bittersweet for her dad and me. My husband found it particularly hard, though he hid it from her beautifully, because he chose her first name at birth and his name was her middle name. I think C anticipated his feelings and I am fairly sure that influenced her decision to take part of her paternal grandmother's name as her middle name.
Because things went as smoothly as you can possibly imagine -- we were alone in the court room, our lawyer was trans and so she understood our situation, the judge was kind and gentle -- there's not much of story to tell. But my husband, our other two children and I were all able to be there for C on this big day. Of course, in true teenager style, it she was pretty blasé about it all, as if it wasn't life changing. Pokémon Go got more attention than her legal document, but we knew. J.C. is no more. Welcome C.A.
One day I hope she will understand what happened today. But then again, there have been so many of these big days: the day she came out to me, the day she came out to her dad, coming out to her brothers, getting blockers, getting estrogen and now changing her name legally. We have purchased school uniforms in the girls' section of the store, bought a hand bag, switched to girls' underwear, bought a bra. She has started wearing bras and camisoles, lip gloss and a touch of mascara. What's in a name? We went straight from the courthouse to the school district enrollment center. We were prepared for awkward, humiliating and difficult conversations but we were so pleasantly surprised how lovely the staff were. We knew the district had clear rules protecting our child but rules aren't always followed, and even if they are, people aren't always happy or discreet about following them.
We were the first parents to request a name and pronoun change for a child at this center so they weren't 100% sure how to handle it all. But they were kind and conscious of our feelings. They apologized when they confused pronouns, took special care to use her new name, asked us whether we wanted her to have an "alias" and keep her former name on file, etc. It took over an hour, but we got it done. They even printed out her transcript for us so we could see how it will appear to colleges and universities when the time comes to apply. Not a hint of J to be seen. It's C all the way and we're so pleased she will be able to start school as the girl she really is.
J.C. is no more. C.A. is going to rule the world!