What a position to be in - begging your child's doctor to start hormones. Trying to speed up the process of transition. Helping my son become my daughter. I'm emotionally exhausted. A few weeks ago, C went to the endocrinologist to get the ball rolling on hormones. Labs were done and we've been waiting for the results since. C's dad and I had talked and agreed that we wanted her to freeze some sperm in case she wants biological children later in life, despite the fact that she says adoption will be fine.
After a few prods, the doctor's office finally called me yesterday to say that bloods were all clear. "Great!" I thought, "We can get to the sperm bank and get on with this." But I was told before we can freeze sperm, C needs to have a sperm analysis and THEN she can get them frozen if they're viable and THEN we can start hormones. C was devastated. With puberty already started, she knows she is just days away from another drop in her voice, or facial hair or chest hair. She feels the ability to "pass" slipping through her hands. She is due to go away to an academic summer program on Sunday and it will be three weeks before we can even do the sperm analysis and who knows how long THAT would delay things. She has been a grouchy and unpleasant teenager all week, and I know much of it is due to this stress.
We saw the counselor yesterday - and we really needed it. My husband and I are really struggling to balance the teen thing with the trans thing and know when to push and when to step back and C's behavior this week has made that even trickier. The counselor suggested I just call the doctor every hour until it becomes easier for the doctor to call me back than for the staff to keep taking messages. That's exactly what I did and it worked! I just got off the phone with the doctor who has agreed to start C on spironolacatone, an androgyn blocker. She was hesitant because she wasn't really sure of the effects on sperm and needs to have blood work done within 7-10 days but otherwise she had no objection. We talked about C's confession that she considered committing suicide by drowning herself in the bathtub and that I'd rather have a living, infertile daughter, than a dead son with frozen sperm. She agreed and I will be picking up the prescription within the hour. I have to figure out how to get her to a lab for blood work in 7-10 days while she's in another state at the academic camp, but hell, I'll figure it out. This stuff is not for the faint of heart. Not even a tiny bit.